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life lately

My baby looks so big in this photo, but also still like an infant. It makes me happy and sad all at once because time gets away from you when you’re chasing a toddler. Life has been crummy lately. Lots of things that just haven’t gone our way, and it’s hard. No one tells you that it can feel this hard. No one’s dying here, I mean we are fine, really. But still a little heartbroken over a few things. I think it’s ok sometimes to blog about crappy things instead of just happy sunny things, because that’s how life happens. We have so many happy sunny days that we are grateful for too. I’m mostly grateful for a husband that gives me butterflies every day, and a baby who gives me a run for my money, and also soooo much joy. Gosh, I love them. The crappy things will pass eventually, but until then I’ll just watch this boy grow in his sleep.

weekend walk

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hat: target// t-shirt: c/o brickyard buffalo// jeans: asos// shoes: tevas

We just got home from a little getaway at Brian Head with Blake’s family. We had a great time but boy am I happy to be back in my bed! Beau never sleeps great in a pack and play so he was scrunched in between Blake and me in a queen bed. We didn’t get much sleep. This weekend we will be relaxing and staying home. We’ve had some stressful and emotional weeks in the family lately so we are ready to enjoy time together for a stress-free weekend. xoxo

fourth of july weekend

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So these are really random photos of our 4th of July weekend since I hardly took any (ugh). I celebrated my birthday on the 3rd of July and turned 29 years old, which sounds like a huge number to me. I’m not saying 29 is old or anything but being one year away from 30 just feels strange. It was a really great weekend spent with two really incredible boys. Since my b-day was on a Sunday we just stayed home, had eggs and sausage for dinner, and my favorite gluten free cake of all time. Beau gets so excited if we sing “Happy Birthday” since he always assumes it’s for him and thinks he gets presents. He literally sings happy birthday every single day most likely in hope of getting to eat ice cream and be showered with gifts. Sorry pal. Our 4th of July was spent working on a mini trampoline and swing set Grandma insisted on getting him. I’m not kidding it took Blake and I at least 10 hours to put this thing together. By the time we finished, on day two, it was 5pm and we were too tired to go anywhere to watch fireworks so we stayed inside and didn’t see any. I really love the 4th of July so it’s kind of a sad story, but seeing Beau play on his new swing made all the work worth it, and then I didn’t even care about fireworks. He swung on that tiny swing for a solid 30 minutes without getting off once!

It was a happy weekend and now we are off to a little vacation with Blake’s family for a few days. The month of July is one of my favorites, and this one is going to be good.

the little fireman

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One of our friends asked us if we wanted to spend a morning at the fire station to see the firetrucks last week. Of course we were thrilled to go since Beau loves anything with wheels. When we walked in to see all the trucks I underestimated just how excited he would be. “FIRETRUUUUUCK!!!” he squealed, while I chased him around the entire garage. He was even more giddy when they let him drive. All he needs in life is to pretend drive. He has locked himself in the car twice pretend driving and both times he was thrilled and I was panicked. One of those times we found spare keys, the other time the fire department had to come break him out. He got the best of both worlds to drive an actual firetruck. His driving dreams were made, plus he took an extra long nap afterward for good measure.

he misses me when i’m gone

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antlers: restoration hardware// lamps: target// bed: crate & barrel// nightstands: crate & barrel (similar)

I just got home from a couple days in Vegas with my mom and cousin. Three days and two nights away from my baby scared me. But I stayed so busy shopping and eating that it went by faster than I thought it would! And while I had the best time on a break with the girls, I sure was happy to come home to my boys. The best part of all was ringing the doorbell when I got home to be greeted by my smiling baby shouting “mama mama mama!!” And then I just melted on the floor into a puddle. He didn’t forget me! He maybe even missed me a little, even if he was with his favorite parent for a few days. I did find a few great things I had to buy in Vegas including these shoes, and this backpack in a matte metallic color. Now it’s back to our life of cars, and coloring, and books, and it’s my favorite thing on the planet.

this week is already going too fast

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I have had two sick boys over here at our house. Lots of coughs, fevers, and naps. I’m telling you my immune system is made of steel (most of the time). Still we had a happy weekend spending it together and hanging out at home. Both boys are starting to feel much better except for all the coughs in the middle of the night that keep Beau up. Gosh there is nothing worse than a sick baby. I am going to soak in all the snuggles and play time I can get this week since I am going out of town on a girls trip this weekend with my mom and cousin. I haven’t ever been away from Beau overnight before and I am so nervous/sad! I know he’ll be with his dad and probably won’t even miss me, but it’s already causing me anxiety! Two full days of not chasing around my baby is going to be the strangest feeling ever. I kind of miss him already.

floor time with my boy.

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button up: mindy mae’s market c/0// jeans: current/elliott

We’ve been spending a lot of time outside or by our back door watching our landscape go in. Beau loves the tractors and tells me over and over again “yellow tractor!” And of course he usually has his own cars in his hands. He likes one in each hand and he knows exactly which ones he wants. They have names, which is usually just their color, unless it’s “queen” meaning Lightning McQueen. I can’t even tell you how many times I get him strapped in the car when he screams “WHITE WHITE WHITE”, which of course means if I don’t get his white truck he will scream the entire drive wherever we are going. It’s just precious right? But really to see the joy, and to hear the squeals of excitement when he gets that white truck is just the best thing there is.

when life gets tough

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It’s been a bit of a rough week. Stresses with some things in life have caused a lot of heartache and anger and sometimes it’s hard for me to have a good outlet to get things out. I mean after I talk my husbands ear off sometimes I need to write my feelings out. This photo is from a shoot Beau and I did with Mindy Mae’s Market a couple weeks ago, and it makes me smile so I look at it often. My baby boy is the happiest running outside and the photographer caught his true happy self right here. Although to be honest he was an absolute terror during the entire photoshoot and I had to chase him all over the park in my skirt. When I finally caught him he would throw himself into a backbend on the floor and I had to practically drag his limp body back to the shoot. I cried a few times that morning in private so when they sent me this shot I was shocked they captured anything good at all of Beau or me. It gives me hope to know that when things seem like a nightmare, there is still some hope for good things. I have hated social media (aka Instagram) this week. Do you ever feel like that? Sometimes I get too caught up in it all and end up getting down on myself for one thing or another. So sometimes I need a break to remember that it’s just Instagram. And if it all went away tomorrow that I really have all I need anyway.

So I’ve decided the rest of this week will be better. I’m going to make it better, because really life is so very good.

babies and buns

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We are super sad the weekend is over already. Dad going back to work all day always bums us out over here. But this week is going to be a good one with lots of time spent outside, plus we get a fence for our yard and that makes us even happier. I love the month of May because that means summer is almost here, and we really love summer. Except for the fact that this baby turns TWO next month and that makes me a little sad. Or a lot sad. So I get one more month of my little one year old baby before people consider him a “toddler”. Even though he’s been toddler size since about 18 months. To me he’s my squishy baby boy who I’ll squeeze forever, or until he fights himself free.

beau loves his dad, and cars.

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I snapped these pics the other night when my boys were playing. They play all night once dad is home and it’s one of my favorite things to see. Beau waits all day to see his dad and if he hears a noise that resembles the garage opening (like the dishwasher) he immediately runs to the door “daddy home?”. He’s his favorite person and it’s so sweet, and sometimes annoying ;). Today I took Beau to Target looking for a gift for my nephew and he sees the toy cars and immediately starts screaming “CARS CARS CARS!!!!” I quickly let him pick 2 cars, ripped open the package and put 1 in each hand. But soon he saw more cars and hated the ones in his hands, so he threw them. This time his scream was a high pitched bloody murder scream. I’m sure people thought I was the meanest mom ever but I booked it outta that toy section and he screamed the entire rest of the time we were in the store. When we got home he loved his 2 little cars again and couldn’t be sweeter. good grief.